Proverbs 14

The book of Proverbs not only shares about the True Wisdom that we should all pursue, it also talks about so many of life’s little teachings as well. There was a time when I was particularly interested in reading books on life’s wisdom (or wise sayings from people who have supposedly been there done there), and while some of these books do give good “advice” (some of them are actually quite shrewd, so be careful what you read), they are focused only on the things on earth. If the Book of Proverbs can provide the direction to this life (how we should lead our lives on earth) and the key to the next (eternal life), I urge you to “buy” the Book of Proverbs with your time, and really internalize these words of wisdom in your life.

I would like to highlight a few verses for today’s sharing.

The heart knows its own bitterness,
And a stranger does not share its joy. (Proverbs 14:10)

There are times when we are listening to someone share about his problems and we are so tempted to say, “I know what you are going through…” and then start to share about our own experience, hoping that our experience will edify him and give him good advice on what to do. Sometimes we may even think that the matter is not worth crying over, and that person should just move on. Being a counsellor, I am trained to empathise with another’s feelings and really seek to understand what he/she is going through. However, I have come to realise that “the heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy”. We can probably never fully understand what someone else is experiencing.

Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather,
And like vinegar on soda,
Is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. (Proverbs 25:20)

What does “empathising” mean then? It is to listen and to validate his hurts. Agree with him that he is indeed in pain, and help him accept himself. Often, it is when someone is not able to fully accept himself that there began to grow bitter roots within. Are you at peace with yourself? Can you truly accept the person that you are?

A sound heart is life to the body,
But envy is rottenness to the bones. (Proverbs 14:30)

What is a “sound” heart? The English Standard Version uses “tranquil” instead, suggesting a heart which is at peace with oneself. Are you able to love yourself, or do you find yourself often envying others? Perhaps these are questions we can explore with our hurting/troubled friends.

Even in laughter the heart may sorrow,
And the end of mirth may be grief. (Proverbs 14:13)

But even in moments of joy, sometimes, when the curtain has dropped and the applause has ended, we realised that these are vanities and that there is no lasting happiness on earth. And so we find ourselves chasing after more, more, more, and MORE! I have indeed met with quite a number of people who find life meaningless, and are hopeless. What is missing from the equation here?

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Jesus is the missing link.

Jesus knows the bitterness in our hearts, and He shares in our joys too. I can say with all confidence that He is the only one who can truly empathise with you, because He lives in you and He knows you.

Knowing that He indeed made you and formed you from the womb, and love you, helps us to move beyond the stage of accepting ourselves to desiring to be Christ-like. We are at peace with ourselves, because we know we are loved by the Most High; and because of this love, we want to become better, like Him.

Joy is often found in hope and meaning. Clients who come to me still hopeful or who still find some meanings in their lives are the one who can still laugh and push on. And for us who have known the Lord, we know who is the Hope and the Meaning of our lives - Jesus.

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalms 16:11)

Jesus is our true joy, and the joy of the LORD is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). We who have indeed tasted the goodness of the Lord, let us share this joy with those around us!